Cada semana publicamos algunos extractos de las anotaciones de diario que los participantes nos han dado permiso para compartir de forma anónima.
En su diario, usted puede escribir lo que quiera, de la manera que quiera. Cuando hacemos publicas sus anotaciones, queremos proteger a su confidencialidad. Aquí están nuestras políticas:
The lockdown restrictions in South Africa were further relaxed a couple days ago, as we come out of the 2nd wave. It has almost felt possible to relax about it, for a little bit.
There have been a lot of attacks on East Asians, in part because angry people have blamed Chinese people for the pandemic. I have read many horror stories of violent attacks on elderly Chinese people in New York City and in the Bay Area. That's very frightening to me because I worry a lot about my parents, who don't live in those areas but might be targeted nevertheless. I am also scared for myself because does that mean I will not be able to visit New York or the Bay Area or any large urban areas? As I have told others, I have experienced racism before, but it's never to this level where I fear for my physical safety that I could be assaulted by random, hateful people.
- the winter storms in Texas, where I used to live
... continuing to see the same communities get relentlessly hit with all of these different disasters
... the last year has driven home how our systems are not set up to care for people
... it's hard to feel anything other than grief
Esta semana he de decir que estoy muy agradecida con aquellas mujeres que tienen poder y usan ese poder para ayudar a otras mujeres. Realmente no hubiera podido sobrevivir a la pandemia si una de ellas no hubiera tomado cartas en el asunto. Buscó la forma de darme trabajo y gracias a ello, logré sobrevivir. Luego, otra de ellas, me dio trabajo en octubre y noviembre. Esto me ha permitido tener un fin de año con necesidades básicas cubiertas. Estoy muy agradecida con estas mujeres que deciden usar su poder de forma asertiva y generosa.
Cuando estuve pensando en esto, recordé que mi mamá también recibió ayuda de mujeres que usan su poder para respaldar a otras mujeres. Gracias a esa ayuda, mi mamá logró sacarnos adelante a mí y a mi hermano. I. le enseñó a dar clases, le dio trabajo y la recomendó en colegios donde ella también trabajaba. Mi mamá se había separado de mi padre, este no la ayudaba económicamente, así que ella tenía que mantener el hogar. También, V., la recomendó para trabajar en otros colegios y cuando llegó el momento de retirarse, la apoyó para que recibiera la compensación económica que le correspondía. I. murió de un cáncer hace muchos años.
En mi vida también he conocido mujeres que buscan destruir a otras mujeres. Es más, lo he vivido en carne propia. Pero realmente, si reviso mi vida, han sido más las mujeres que me han ayudado y con las que encuentro formas de trabajar en conjunto de manera satisfactoria. Y en definitiva, en estos tiempos de pandemia, tenerlas de mi lado ha sido un gran regalo. Muchas gracias a todas ellas.
- our winter was harsh in Central Illinois ... our world became very very small ... One thing I'd like to keep from the pandemic is my appreciation for things like walks during the golden hour ...
Ease in obtaining the Covid shots sometimes seem random. I, and most of my friends have either received the shots, or have appointments soon. A few seem to be unable to schedule shots even though they are in their seventies or eighties. This is wrong.
There are people who are at risk who can't get shots and people who la de da get shots even though they are young and at very low risk.
All teachers should get shots. They are essential workers!
- there are a lot of moments when you're alone with your thoughts... not able to distract yourself
- disastrous vaccine rollout in western Pennsylvania
... the ethics and math of remote mental health care & therapists' COVID risk
... Reveal podcast episode with an overburdened new physician who describes what she and her health care colleagues are doing and asks, "What the fuck is everyone else doing?"
"... we ask more and more from those who have less and less to give ... where can we be helping more?"
- protesters against the enforcement of wearing masks ... misinformation about vaccines ... lack of trust among people of color & indigenous people because of historical experience
I’m sad and disappointed that BC in Canada is delaying the 2nd dose so more can get the first dose. I think this is bad practice and is not following advice of the researchers whose studies were based on a 3 week window fir the booster shot.
It has been a week of worry and of hope. Sometimes alternating in my brain and heart and sometimes living within me at the same time. I feel both when I read the news of variants and vaccines. I feel worried about my unemployed son and what his path forward might be, but hope that vaccine and lowering cases will allow him to get back to work. I feel hope that my elderly relatives who have been vaccinated are now much safer and that before too long more of my loved ones (and even me!) will join them. I worry about my grandchildren who are doing kindergarten remotely, as well as their parents who are balancing so much and are so far away from us on the other coast.
Worry and hope.
I'm white, so I haven't had to face the massive amounts of Asian and Asian-American discrimination that have showed up. However, I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community and we've been trying to support each other. Mostly it's been my friends and I doing zooms, but I recently attended an online meeting to potentially become a leader in an LGBTQ+ based tech camp for the summer. Everything is online, but they still want people to be able to connect.
During this pandemic I have often felt bottled up, needing to escape. I tried to express my feelings through art showing some butterflies escaping to freedom. The situation with the pandemic has improved since
the Covid vaccines are becoming available to more people. The situation across the country is quite disorganized when it comes to obtaining the vaccine. Some areas of the country are doing well, others not so good. The political divide between Republicans and Democrats has infiltrated our healthcare system.
I hope that my plans to travel to Japan will happen this year, but I'm starting to doubt it.
El otro día fui a ayudar a un amigo de la familia a recoger unos muebles para llevar a su casa. Nos tomó toda la mañana el ejercicio. El mundo se veía raro, tenía la impresión -quizá por la nieve y el silencio- de que estaba desplazándome por la escena de una película vieja.
Cuando llegamos a la casa donde teníamos que recoger los muebles, saludé a la dueña de casa, siempre desde lejos y me quedé mirando los muebles que había que mover. Algo en mí quería terminar todo rápidamente para volver a casa. El encierro me está llegando a las fibras y empiezo a temer, pero no es el miedo convencional de quien espera el peligro, sino el miedo constante de quién se sabe acechado. Incluso las conversaciones fueron forzosas. No soy alguien que conversa mucho, no por voluntad, pero esta vez había algo que me hacía sentir incómodo de hablar, una urgencia rara de quien hace un trámite desagradable. En cambio, el frío de la calle vacía, me devolvía el alma al cuerpo y me ayudaba a continuar con los viajes.
Entre un punto y otro, la carretera me trajo el recuerdo del primer viaje en carretera que hice en el país, desde el Kennedy en Nueva York hasta la casa en la que, de hecho, estoy viviendo nuevamente. Había un aire nuevo en todo, pero también monotonía, una monotonía ajena que me invadía y extendía, en alguna medida, la monotonía del encierro. Parece ser que esta cuarentena forzosa y larguísima (por no decir eterna) ha empezado intervenir cada aspecto de nuestras vidas, o al menos de la mía.
My little pandemic baby in her cowboys boots. She is almost 11 months old and is not so little anymore. She was born on April 6th in the height of the first lockdown. She knows most of family members from FaceTime calls. I think at this point she thinks people live inside the iPad screen. Every time after a call she tries to flip the iPad and see where is that person hiding. Makes me sad.
I am not the same anymore. Not sure that is a good thing. I cannot look ahead. I have some amazing things in the future (potentially), but I cannot hope for them or look to them any longer for sustenance. I have lost my faith in the other side of this. I am losing my joy. I am losing me.
Several of my Asian friends have had nasty comments made about them on the street but no physical assault. I try to stay off Facebook and Twitter as some people make disturbing remarks without regard to whether your right wing of leftie.
A significant issue I have dealt with this week has to do with if and when I can sign jus for a vaccination appointment.
I havd not mentioned previously that I Ama cancer patient. I was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in November - discovered accidentally in the investigation of another issue.
Since then I have undergone a program of radiation which concluded, after 6 weeks of treatment, about three weeks ago. I have also had a program of chemotherapy consisting of four treatments every three weeks. My fourth treatment is scheduled for next week and will occur dependent on what my blood component levels are at the time.
Because of this vulnerability of a compromised immune system, I was hopeful of getting the vaccine.
but........in conference with the oncologist, he has advised that I should wait a few weeks after the "cycle" of my last infusion. It is important that my system - i.e. my blood counts - are strong enough to present an effective response to the vaccine.
So............ I understand this and accept his advice, but am disappointed that I will go another 6 or so weeks in the same state of vulnerability in which I have been for virtually the past year.
I feel like I'm on the fringe of the wave of vaccinated and revitalized citizens!
The arts council I belong to hosts craft workshops to raise funds. The latest one was a cardinal barn quilt wall hanging. All participants had beautiful wall hangings to take home. I couldn’t resist the leftover paint on a participant’s palette. I grabbed a board and smeared the palette on it to create my own piece of art. I believe my impulsive action was a small act of defiance to all of the restrictions and rules we have lived with in the past year.
I'm not especially sad or angry these days.. More like frustrated and having Covid fatigue in the current situation at almost one year now. And the rollout of the vaccines is lagging and dragging this out longer. Hoping that the new one-shot from J & J will help move things along more quickly so that we will be closer to being able to return to a "new normal."
Hace un momento vino una ambulancia a una casa vecina. Es probable que alguien de esa familia tenga COVID-19 , pero, en este momento, los servicios de salud están saturados. Es probable que los casos leves o que pueden estar bajo control no sean trasladados a un hospital. Varios de los vecinos salimos a observar lo que ocurría.
Como vivo con mi mamá, ella dispuso que saldremos solamente por cuestiones estrictamente necesarias. Entonces, salimos solamente al mercado o al supermercado. Las compras navideñas, la mayoría, las hice por internet. Otros años, a mi mamá le gustaba que la llevara a varias tiendas a buscar los regalos. Este año no lo hicimos para protegernos del contagio. Otro lugar al que tenemos que ir es al banco o a los cajeros automáticos para tener el dinero que necesitamos, o en mi caso, para cobrar mis trabajos.
Me gusta vivir con mi mamá porque, tanto ella como yo, somos altamente vulnerables al COVID-19, entonces, nos apoyamos entre nosotras.
Ya me estoy haciendo a la idea de que la celebración de la Navidad va a ser rara y que no nos vamos a reunir como antes. Pero no me voy a desanimar. Voy a celebrar que hemos logrado llegar hasta acá y estoy viva. Voy a celebrar que mi familia está completa y nadie se ha enfermado ni ha fallecido. Ese será el mejor regalo de Navidad.
- almost a year in ... it's been really hard
After weeks of fruitless efforts, I finally got an appointment for my husband to get his first dose of vaccine for this week. It's such a relief to know that he will finally be protected. I'm still not officially eligible, however a friend of mine told me yesterday about a site where a local hospital system is registering people 50+ years old. So I immediately signed up. It wasn't clear how long it will be before they contact me to make an appointment, but I hope it's soon.
My brother called yesterday and asked if he can come to visit and stay for a couple days. He lives about 2 hours away from us. He will be arriving tomorrow. Since the pandemic began I've only seen him maybe 3 times. He's come over to visit for an hour or two and we always sat outside. This time he will be staying overnight and as much as I want to see him for a longer visit I"m also worried. He will be in the house with us, eating and hanging around. We obviously can't sit outside the whole time. We can wear masks inside and I think the weather will be suitable for having windows open. Even so, there is risk and it scares me since my husband will only be getting his first dose on the day he arrives and of course I won't be vaccinated at all.
My brother's wife died of COVID in December. She was in a nursing home so it wasn't exactly a surprise, but it was still heart-breaking. Now my brother is alone. His sister-in-law lives about 30 minutes away from him and they are close. But I worry about him being alone. I wish he would move back home close to me and my sister and other brother. We're the only ones left in my family and I'd like us all to be close together.
I believe social media is the method many people stay connected during the pandemic. It is easy to stay in touch with family and friends who you cannot see in person.
I had a dream this week that some woman came up to me and said "I had Covid 19 and I am not sure if I am recovered yet. You may have the virus now too". I woke up not too sure if it had really happened or not. I very seldom get dreams I can remember when I get up.
I have found that my life is so routine that I don't feel the passage of time. There are not celebrations (public or private) or events to mark the passage of time. I seems like all of a sudden a year has gone by and I have no idea what I did during that time.