Cada semana publicamos algunos extractos de las anotaciones de diario que los participantes nos han dado permiso para compartir de forma anónima.
En su diario, usted puede escribir lo que quiera, de la manera que quiera. Cuando hacemos publicas sus anotaciones, queremos proteger a su confidencialidad. Aquí están nuestras políticas:
Something that has changed in my life in the last few months?
Not a lot, actually. I have a new favorite song that I hum at work: "I've No More F***s To Give," by Thomas Benjamin Wild. It makes me smile behind my quadruple-filtered mask. I just wish I could hit the high notes like I used to. My coworkers are probably wondering why I'm squeaking to myself.
Nothing much has changed, except now worrying about the increasing problems in Germany and eastern Europe and how friends and family there will be affected.
It's fall in New England and it's my favorite time of year. My child (daughter--pronouns are they, their, them) received their first vaccine shot this past week and the sense of relief I feel is enormous. These beautiful leaves makes me think of them: a vibrant person inside and out. Since they received the vaccine, I have really been thinking about them, how fast it all goes and they are only 11 1/2. They were so excited to receive the shot and there was no fear in their eyes , as there usually is with the flu shot, for example. The smile afterward was so contagious. That night when we lit the Sabbath candles and said the blessings to welcome in the Sabbath, we added another prayer called the Shehechiyanu. It means, "Blessed are you, God, who has given us life, sustained us and allowed us to arrive in this moment." The blessing is usually said when we do something for the first time that year and this seemed a completely appropriate moment to recite it. My husband, myself and our child recited it together and one could feel the meaning for us and our relief.
But, I still have my 11 1/2 year old child who repeatedly says, "My friends and I are one step closer to having a sleepover!" Now there is my 11 1/2 year old child. Don't grow up too fast.
Mi familia y yo estamos bien, sólo que engripados. Pero eso no nos impide continuar con nuestras tareas habituales. Así que eso es algo valeroso. Años atrás una gripe me hubiera dejado en cama varios días, y las migrañas hubieran sido insoportables. Pero hoy estoy mucho mejor, a pesar de algunos problemillas de salud física, me siento agradecida con la Santa Trinidad y conmigo misma por la fortaleza que poseo.
Además ayer, por primera vez desde que comenzó el ASPO en Argentina, mi familia y yo nos juntamos a cenar con mi familia materna : la abuela, mi prima y mis tíos. Estar todos juntos otra vez fue casi extraño, pero a la vez reconfortante. Nunca hemos sido cercanos, pero somos familia y de alguna manera siempre hemos podido demostrarlo. Así que verlos a todos después de casi dos años fue muy bonito. Incluso aunque no me integre demasiado en las conversaciones, me pareció una reunión cálida y divertida.
Las festividades están cerca y eso me emociona. Yo me voy a encargar de la comida principal, así que estoy alegre por eso. Siempre me llena de paz esta época, porque siento que puedo conectarme con mi espiritualidad desde otro lado. Festejar esto en casa siempre ha sido importante, pero desde hace algunos años comenzó a tener mayor relevancia para mí, ya que pude conocer otra faceta divina. Por este 2021 en especial, estoy eternamente agradecida, he comprendido tanto y he vivido tan plenamente algunas experiencias que no puedo sino regocijarme por eso. Jehová y sus manifestaciones pueden ser extrañamente divertidas algunas veces. Éste, que ha sido un año de constante desafío personal y mental para mí, también ha sido un año de crecimiento espiritual y de sanación que me ha marcado. Sobre esto he meditado en las últimas semanas y no puedo más que emocionarme, agradecer y reconocer mis privilegios en un tiempo tan desolador como el que vivimos.
Realmento espero, con fe, que las cosas mejoren para mi querida Argentina y para el resto del mundo. Y que cada corazón pueda tener al menos un momento de felicidad y paz en lo que reste del año.
My grandpa had cancer and was hospitalized which led him to ultimately die of pneumonia which the doctors suggested could be a complication of coronavirus. That, however, was not even the hardest part. Due to restrictions, I was not able to say goodbye to him before he passed away. And neither were most of my family members. Covid took the chance to say goodbye away from me.
I never even heard of those words before. But they are funny. The only funny thing I saw was this sign: Just dumped M&Ms into my mask so I can eat them like a horse.
San Francisco Airport, my first flight since March 16, 2020, on my way to help my daughter as her fractured heel bone heals. Nervous about being around so many vaccinated and unvaccinated people, even though everyone was required to wear a mask. I was struck by the irony of these signs on the carpet in the airport, when we will all be literally rubbing shoulders with strangers on the airplane.
Pandemic fatigue is a real thing. It feels to me like "enough is enough!" Sometimes I walk out of the house for work without a mask--as if I've forgotten about the pandemic. Now I keep extra masks in my car.
More worrisome for me is the potential for empathy fatigue. I haven't gotten there yet, but as a health-care provider it's becoming a looming danger. I've not experienced burnout in more than 25 years of professional work, but living through the same emotional turmoil as patients makes it much more difficult to maintain distance and maintain empathy simultaneously.
My college went entirely online for the entire 2020-2021 school year. This was my sophomore year of college, so I feel like I missed out on a huge chunk of what people describe as one of the best times of their lives. I often think about what I missed and get sad about it.
Here the boys are watching Home Alone with me. Not only is it one of my favorite movies, it is also a reminder that so soon we will be celebrating Christmas once again. Last year, Christmas was wonderful but also in the midst of our quarantine, in the middle of N.’s parents’ diagnosis, celebrated over zoom. I have a feeling this year will be different and that brings me much joy!
La pandemia de coronavirus ha hecho que algunas de mis relaciones familiares se afiancen, pero también me ha ocasionado mucha incomodidad en cuanto a la convivencia 24/7 con la gente de mi casa.
Otra cuestión es el tiempo que he pasado lejos de mis amigos. Algunos no viven en mi ciudad así que pasó mucho tiempo antes de que pudiéramos reencontrarnos. Y con los locales, nos vimos apenas fue posible pero incluso así respetamos ciertas restricciones y fue difícil.
Aunque he aprendido a conectar con la gente de otras formas, ha sido difícil no poder ver personalmente a mis seres queridos por largo tiempo, ni abrazarlos cuando los volví a ver.
I play a D1 sport at a university where athletes are required to get tested twice a week. This makes COVID something I have to constantly think about even though I am vaccinated. I tested positive without having symptoms a few months ago, and had to miss the whole first two weeks of classes and 3 games. That made me very depressed at the time and still affects me now as I missed a lot in two competitive environments: my sport and in school.
I cannot get good dim sum in the Southwest
Terrific Mexican food, but Chinese food -- not so much
For two years I've been daydreaming about this legendary dim sum place in Honolulu
Hawaii finally relaxed its visitor quarantine so I got on a plane and flew to Oahu
One of my first stops was to Chinatown
The waiter checked all of our vaccination cards
Once the food started coming, though, it was soooo worth it
Hot tea, dumplings, noodles, veggie-stuffed buns
"Heart's desire", indeed
I took this picture this weekend at the park with the kids. A nice fall Saturday. Trying to ground myself and stay present. It’s not easy sometimes to focus on what we have, rather than what we’ve lost.
This week the coronavirus pandemic affected my life in several ways. Both of my next-door neighbors are fighting the virus along with one of my best friends. I am helping them out the best I can by offering food to drop off and running any errands for them. I am seeing cases rise at the hospital, as I watch the Emergency Department intake board grow with at least 25% or more patients that are Covid positive. The staffing shortages and burnout among healthcare workers are at an all-time high. Now, here we go again with our "4th surge". This is truly the pandemic of the unvaccinated. 95% of the Covid positive patients are unvaccinated and taking up the few hospital beds that are available. So many reasons why people need to get vaccinated against Covid, save another life, save their own and help ease the burden on the healthcare system.
As the holidays approach, I feel adrift. Ironically, in non pandemic years, I would be dreading snd finding ways to avoid holiday get togethers. But now that they are problematic, I seem to miss them. Mostly I guess I just want a choice . Even vaccinated with a booster, I don’t feel safe st gatherings of people indoors, for more than a few minutes. The senior housing where I live is holding a thanksgiving dinner for everyone but I didn’t sign up ..not even for a takeout dinner to;be brought to my apartment. For one thing, turkey, gravy and mashed potatoes sound disgusting as I move more and more toward a vegetarian diet.
My 11 year old got her first vaccination shot yesterday!!!! Can we get an AMEN!? I love my school district for scheduling a vaccination event at her school. I love that she got to be vaccinated in a place she knew, with kids she knew around her. The whole time I was beaming inside. Dancing my way out of there! I love it so much. I listened to Fauci on the New York Times Podcast "The Daily" today. He is lovely as far as I am concerned. From here on out with most Americans eligible for a vaccine, unvaccinated people will be cause of future waves. I am so tired of questioning the sanity of so many people. First with Trump, then COVID, and it seems like almost everything these days. I carry a lot of blame. I blame morons who voted for Trump, I blame creepy extreme right wingers holding so much sway in our government, for the Supreme Court who will likely side with gun owners' freedom, but not the right of a woman to have - or not to have - a child. I am so tired of other people making me nuts. But - one more time...my 11-year got her first vaccination after 19 months and 10 days. 607 days! Amen.
- I started this journal in fall of 2020. I thought the pandemic was coming to an end.
... it's been really good for me to do this
... for the future it's going to be really interesting to listen back and get a glimpse of what this experience was like for people
... There may be people out there that listen to this some day and say wow, I didn't realize how hard it was for people to live through that -- not just the pandemic, but everything else that's happening politically, socially, environmentally at the same time
... This is a very critical moment in time, and where we pivot from here will be interesting to see.
I have been going through some social anxiety because i have become unfamiliar with socializing this days
I was a little sick this past week but i had to go to school because apparently Matric comes first
I couldnt go to one of my debate workshops because one of my peers got affected
It broke my heart but i had to accept it
I feel like this pandemic is slowly taking away the things i love. Hell its even causing social anxiety
I think that if the government always postpone and cancel educational and important things
Then clubs should also do the same
Country: South Africa
I just took an at home Covid test. I just don’t feel well. I have a headache. I can’t concentrate. My back hurts. Am I just old now (40)? Or is it Covid? Or is it that I have a one year old? I haven’t felt well in a while but today I felt slightly worse. The test was negative. When will this end? This fear for me health, for my baby’s safety? When will this dystopian reality flip a switch and return to how it was before? I’m so sad….all the time.
My friend lost her uncle, who lives in the Middle East, to COVID. She doesn't know all the details, and that makes her even more upset.
People all over the world are dying from COVID.
Sometimes I have to remind myself of that because I get caught up in my own small world so often.
Two days ago, I flew for the first time since March of 2020, an unexpected trip to spend some time with my daughter, who fractured her foot and needed help managing everyday tasks. The photo is of a well-worn social distancing sign on the carpet at the airport departure gate. I was uncomfortable about flying, because although I recently received a booster shot, it had only been five days since my shot when I flew. What was reassuring: everyone was required to wear a mask, except when eating or drinking, both in the terminal and on the airplane. I had recently acquired some KN95 masks and was wearing one. My flight was not full, so I had no one seating next to me. What was disconcerting: at no point in my travels did anyone ask any questions about my vaccination status, or whether I had any symptoms or had been in close contact with someone who tested positive for Covid-19. I used to enjoy air travel, but this trip, though necessary, was not enjoyable.
Big difference! I don't like being too close to anyone, much less strangers. I am very aware of my personal space. The other day at a restaurant, the waitress got pretty close to me (she was wearing a mask, of course), but I felt that she was too close for comfort. I wonder if there will ever be a day when I don't think about people's proximity to me and the possibility of their germs getting into my body. I don't consider myself to be over the top neurotic about this stuff, but it's certainly an awareness I carry around with me like an accessory.
We're back in the office full time this week, although numbers are still high and no one wears their mask appropriately. Fun, depressing fact: I work for public health.
My employer has also made it clear they will offer no flexibility for childcare, even if a child must quarantine, and they don't care about us carrying COVID home to our families.
So, I've decided to quit. My last day is Friday. I don't have a new job yet, but I have a few interviews lined up (all remote positions). After this pandemic, I'm not going to waste my time in an organization that doesn't care about my health (while they should!).
La semana anterior ha sido complicada.
Vivir en un hogar disfuncional mientras continúan las restricciones en el ámbito universitario en mi ciudad es extremadamente desafiante.
Antes tenía una rutina establecida para mis clases, y para estudiar en casa, y tenía horarios más estrictos que me ayudaban a organizarme y me permitían estar lejos de casa. De esa forma me sentía mejor, incluso viviendo con trastorno de ansiedad generalizada y trastorno de estrés postraumático. Pero ahora, mi salud mental continúa siendo un reto constante, y además debo estar más tiempo en un hogar que no me permite crecer ni expresarme. Y esto porque las clases presenciales no han retornado.
Es gracioso que haya personas que crean que mi vida es perfecta, que me admiran por los bienes de mi familia, por mis modales e inteligencia, o porque les parece que tengo éxito en todo lo que hago. No tienen ni idea del precio que pago emocionalmente, o de lo dura y solitaria que ha sido mi niñez. No saben las heridas emocionales que tengo, ni lo mucho que me han exigido mis padres para que sea lo más cercano a la "perfección". No tienen idea de lo que sufro porque sé que mis padres me consideran débil y enfermiza, y sé que son dos cosas que ellos nunca van a aceptar. Ellos, que han sido criados en ambientes infernales y que a pesar de ello, son muy fuertes, emocional y físicamente, engendraron a una hija que no es como se la imaginaron. Me aman, por supuesto, pero sé que hay muchas cosas que no aceptan sobre mí y no son cosas que puedo cambiar, como mi identidad de género, mi orientación sexual, mi salud, mis ideologías y mi sensibilidad.
Yo lo entiendo y ojalá algún día ellos también lo hagan.