Cada semana publicamos algunos extractos de las anotaciones de diario que los participantes nos han dado permiso para compartir de forma anónima.
En su diario, usted puede escribir lo que quiera, de la manera que quiera. Cuando hacemos publicas sus anotaciones, queremos proteger a su confidencialidad. Aquí están nuestras políticas:
Ten months into the pandemic, time itself has taken on a new shape. Once brimming with new possibilities, it is now warped and unrecognizable. The rigidity of life during COVID-19 has resulted in days, weeks and months rapidly melding into sameness.
Another grey day. More rain. No sun.
Just cold and grey.
COVID is spreading - and apparently fast.
It scares me.
My boss started coughing, and even just the first time which could just be something is caught, make me tense up. What if he has COVID?
What will happen if I get it?
Apparently, according to one thing I read 1 in 30 in London has COVID. It is just coming closer and closer.
In a sick way, I hope I just get it already, so I don't have to be afraid.
But then I hope it's not too bad because, well, there is no room in the hospital.
How is this still going on?
When will this end?
I finds it ironical that the writing entries recently have really had little to do with the pandemic and much more about the political goings on. As I wrote last week I was on an uptick because the democrats from Georgia had won the runoff for the two seats in the senate. Then on the very same day after I had submitted my happy thoughts the worst insurrection happened. I had intended to spend a quiet afternoon reading but caught the beginning of the invasion. From then on my quiet afternoon declined to a drama that I never could imagine seeing. Where were the police, the secret service, the troops, anyone for help? It keeps hitting me that the POTUS was safely sealed in the White House while the second and third persons in power along with all of our governing body was under siege. As time passes it becomes even scarier because it seems that there were plenty of indicators that something was about to happen which went ignored. Our systems had failed and the evidence reeks of the possibility of some inside help. I hope that our systems of policing and justice actually work to unwind this and quell it quickly and eliminate it forever.
The suspense continues on the political front as the pandemic takes a back page in the news.Unfortunately more failure has arisen on that front with another system failure. It seems that the United States is incapable of vaccinating its population expediently. Where is competent leadership to get this going smoothly and efficiently so that no doses are squandered? Right now there is little outrage over this and plenty over the issue of getting rid of a failed and mentally deranged president. I’m anxious on both accounts.
I take a lot more walks than I used to, and I have a few friends that I take walks with and this is fun. I don't go out to eat as much as I used to. I don't go to movies or concerts or plays or anything like that either. I actually like my social life better now than pre-pandemic. I find that hanging out with friends is more focused on conversation and just "being" rather than "doing stuff" all the time. I feel like I'm getting to know people on a deeper level since we aren't all distracted by the particular activity we are doing. For fun I have also been doing yoga in Central Park which is wonderful and then walking with friends. At home, I have done a few jigsaw puzzles which I enjoy and I hadn't done in a long time.
April 16, 2020. Photo sketch #1: Glasses -- Caption: Covid days.
This is a nervous sketch. I sketched this while on an audio webinar with Common Cause NY, as we learned what measures Congress needed to take to give relief to Americans who had lost their jobs because of Covid. Plus, the Trump Regime was withholding medical supplies needed to treat Covid. Forcing states to bid on critical supplies.
April 20, 2020. Photo sketch #2: Caption: Chives kept inside until it's warmer outside. Covid days.
Again, I was listening to the Pandemic Crisis steps that Congress needed to make. Sketching stuff was a way to cope with the fact that it felt like we were being abandoned. We were being abandoned.
I haven't seen any racist memes, but racism is everywhere.
Our president is stoking the fires of racism, which is never acceptable, but in a time of Covid it is even worse.
Black and brown people are dying from this and I believe that is one of the reasons he isn't taking it as seriously as he should. Many of his supporters just don't know anyone who had it, or is in a high risk category.
I am so worried about our lives here in America.
I can't even write anymore.....I have a wrist issue and having some pain. Will have to leave it at this.
Government Checks Sent $600
Our yard is home to this owl.
My neighbor is quick
She has spotted him twice
In our woods. .
I winder what is the symbolism
Does he represent anything?
He enjoys our trees
I wish I could spot him one day. .
I thought I heard him
Earlier today at the mailbox.
The government respects
Artists?!?! Really ?!?!! Yes.
Covid stimulus check for me?
Two solo art exhibitions cancelled
This past April both ruined
Today blame a man twice impeached.
DJT this name appears on my check.
A small amount of dollars from a man
Who golfed a FULL year in office
As president. My career worth $600?
I think I heard my owl today
I do not know what his presence means
I study his image in the photograph
And take solace in nature’s beauty.
There is a lot of people feeling intense whether it's sad or mad or angry, and there is some stuff making me sad not much because i'm trying to stay positive but if i was to talk about it, i would say the thing that is making me sad or intense is the fact that even that we have a few vaccines right now it will take time for the world to return to normal. I keep hearing that it can take months or a year till we all get vaccinated but the sad part is we are not fully sure this vaccine can work as of now it;s okay but i would just like everything to go back to normal and everyone to stop worrying so much about this pandemic,
This moon rising is a reminder of all the promise of a “new” year, with lots of hope and optimism. There’s a new month, new year, and new President coming...vaccine is on the horizon. And yet, what really changes when the hands of the clock roll one second past midnight. All those issues will not suddenly disappear. Issues such as climate change, racism, economic disparity, health care, education and shrinking natural resources won’t be resolved over night. Our national divide is deep...and yet I can hope that realizing miracles still happen, and wondrous things are still possible, that we don’t lose our ability to dream.
I see people I know on social media going to New Orleans, or Miami, or California over the past few weeks. I don't really get it, the point of it. I know I went somewhere, but it was nearby and in a secluded cabin we left only once to walk. At this point, I don't want to get sick but I moreso don't want to spread sickness more.
Now members of congress are getting sick from hiding last week, which is a horrible follow-up to what happened. Members of my extended family who have said the whole pandemic is a hoax have started getting sick.They're carrying on with life as normal as much as they can, which is really horrifying. All to prove a point. I don't get it.
When the pandemic is over, we'll be living a new normal. It is likely that wearing masks will be part of our lives for years to come; it is likely that social distancing will only gradually diminish. It is likely that much of the technology that helped us to connect during the pandemic will remain: churches may continue to reach beyond their communities via Zoom; options for virtual learning will enhance education at all levels; technology will remain vital to keeping families and friends connected.
There's plenty that I cannot picture: using mass transportation; travel in cities or outside our country; spending an overnight in a hotel or motel; crowded bleachers during a sports event; being part of a theater audience; dinner at a special restaurant.
May aspects of our pandemic lives remain: deepened appreciation for everyday moments; renewed appreciation for time with family and friends; heightened awareness of Mother Nature's bounty and beauty. May we cling to all that reminds us of the gift of life and the importance of celebrating everyday joys.
Maintaining my composure
For the past week
Suddenly is a burden
Days ago came the call
“Tested positive,” I heard.
A wail sounds off in my mind
I cannot catch my breath
Nothing else is of value
More than the next days
More than family health
More than ridding virus
Passing by,family unscathed
There is no assurance
My son and grandson
Both have the covid virus
As I write this entry
DJT has been deemed
A threat to democracy
Having incited insurrection
This moment the vote
The 45th impeached.
My heart beats rapidly
As my mind spins facts
“Fear” by Woodward described
Knowing he hid the truth
How deadly the virus
He hid ifacts, so did party
Now ten republicans
Add votes to impeach.
There is no assurance
My grandson is four
A fever hit him yesterday.
I made the print in 2001
After 9/11 caused us pain
My face was torn in two
With globes spinning by
I added simple spikes
A simple mask in ink
But now concentric
Circles radiate outward
And more in rainbow
Hues as 400,000
Perished, more follow
Without Trump’s treatment
Given to Guliani too
There is no assurance
We wait at social distance
My heart ripped in two.
Silence at 4:37 PM EST
No one rampaging taking place in the Capitol
Today in Congress the president is again impeached.
Soy una madre de 2 hijos: una niña de 12 años de edad y un niño con autismo de 14 años. Vivo con ellos y con mi esposo. Mi trabajo es docente universitaria pero no estoy ejerciendo porque la universidad en Venezuela está paralizada, no cuento con los recursos (conexión a internet ni fondos para pagar datos móviles debido al bajo sueldo) para dictar clases. Basicamente esta es la razon por la cual la Universidad está paralizada.
Estoy enfocada en ayudar a mis hijos en sus actividades escolares sobre todo a mi hijo con autismo de 14 años. A pesar de su condición es muy inteligente, aprende rápido y necesita mucha orientación de mi parte para prepararlo para su futura vida independiente. Sin embargo, no lo estoy haciendo y me siento culpable por ello. En este último mes de vacaciones escolares practicamente lo dejé a la deriva, le deje mucho tiempo libre y ocioso aun sabiendo que no es lo más aconsejable para él. Siento que corre el tiempo y no esta aprendiendo las habilidades básicas para la vida. Yo en lugar de aprovechar todo el tiempo libre que tengo para apoyalo y orientarlo, prefiero dormir en las tardes o en las redes sociales, siento mucha flojera y no me dan ganas de hacer nada. Cocino porque no vamos a morir de hambre pero es muy fastidioso.
Lo mismo me sucede con mi hija de 12 años, la estoy dejando que pase mucho tiempo en las redes sociales, por lo general vigilo lo que está haciendo pero no me esfuerzo mucho, confio en lo que hace. Sin embargo, le propongo hacer actividades distintas y no quiere, está demasiado pegada a las redes sociales que ya para ella no existe más nada en el mundo. Siento gran culpa de lo que esta pasando con mis hijos pero sé que debo cambiar y asumir un papel más activo en su educación.
Can I possibly separate coronavirus from politics this week? No! The assault on our country's capitol was shameful and frightening. It is difficult to understand the fear (or motivation) that caused so many to engage in an uprising against our government. It is painful to know that our country is so divided and that citizens are so angry that they would resort to lawlessness. It is hard to imagine being able to heal as a country. How will we bridge that divide going forward?
All that pain has taken attention from the pandemic while adding layers of worry, hurt and fear to what we're already shouldering. The vaccine is becoming available; there is light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, our spirits are not lifted. We must be deliberate about finding hope. We must do our part to move out of the darkness and to take on responsibility for finding -and working toward- the light.
Pandemic is on the back burner for me right now as I'm mostly disturbed by the attack on the Capitol last week and the fear that more attacks are planned. Yesterday I took a walk along Madison Ave. in NYC and it made me sad to see so many empty stores. I hadn't walked along there in a while and so it was surprising to see how many shops had gone out of business. This made me quite sad and also made me wonder whether NY is going to make it through this...
I got vaccined!!
It hasn't affected me too much, here in Perth Western Australia, the Premier has everything as controlled as can be. We have though have been strongly advised to stock up on masks, as well as wear them traveling by plane interstate or around Western Australia. The UK Covid 19 has gotten into Australia and so just keeping up with advice from health professionals. I have downloaded app on my phone to check into all cafes, restaurants and shops throughout Western Australia. In event of outbreak will be able to track where we have been.
I feel safe,but also more aware of hygiene practices and not getting too close to people. Disinfectant surfaces I touch as well as my hands, as well as not touch my face either.
I realize too we never get rid of the virus, but to just be aware of it. Still have anxious moments when in public, but that is probably due to shutdown last April 2020.
My children think about coronavirus as Hitler. When will the corona die? Are we winning it already? And the highlight: “stop talking about the corona! We don’t want to hear about it anymore!”
It is now almost ten months since I left my work-place at the university to work from home for a couple of weeks, as we thought then. I have the luxury of living outside the city, by the sea, in a small village, which makes it possible for me to be outside, take my walks and runs - but it is getting increasingly lonely. My daughter, 14 years old, stays with me every second week - sometimes I think that is what really keeps me healthy and sane. Nevertheless, we're very well off compared to the large number of people who have been seriously ill and even died from Covid-19.
My parents, almost 90 years old both of them, are becoming more and more sad, not only by seeing old friends pass away (as they probably would have done anyway at that age) but by not being able to see their relatives and friends - my daughter and I are encouraging them to learn to use FaceTime more, they got their first iPhone just a few weeks ago... :)
Swedish laws don't allow curfews or the kind of restrictions a total lockdown would imply. But the recommendations - more than the distancing and hand-washing - have become more and harsher as the second peak/second wave is ongoing. But it is a wealthy country and the government (social-democrats and the green party) have made more than a dozen changes in the annual public budget, to support various groups, including shelters for women and children; the domestic violence is increasing when all are more or less confined to home.
Lucky to have friends and colleagues all over the world. Some of us wrote this article about the science-society relationship during the pandemic, using our 11 different countries, seen from our homes, as "auto-ethnographic" case studies: https://jcom.sissa.it/archive/19/07/JCOM_1907_2020_A05
Anyway, now off to office, i.e. going nowhere from where I already am and another day of phone, zoom, teams, google meet. Looking forward to World Resources Institute's director Andrew Steer talking today about "Stories to Watch 2021" - this is actually one of the benefits: the world has in a sense become even smaller. I would never have been able to go to DC just to take part in this meeting.... And it has also changed the political everyday in Sweden. Being engaged in the green party, the video talks and meetings have made it possible to get to know our Ministers in the Government much more - they may have the time to come virtually to my part of the country (3-4 hours by train from Stockholm) for a meeting, which would not have happened if they would have to travel for a whole day.....
Something important that happened to me this week was a safety reminder. We had a beautiful gentle snow fall, lots of it. I went out at night and took some pictures...first time for photography at night. It wasn’t too cold, and all was quiet. I was so pleased about the shots I was getting and felt like a real photographer, for once in the right place at the right time. Next day we shoveled, nice light snow so effort required was consistent but not strenuous. By the next day the snow started to melt and the magic of the midnight photo shoot was also beginning to diminish. My “reminder” occurred the next day when I went for my daily “walk and talk”. That is my pandemic routine combining exercise and socialization where I call a socially isolated friend and chat on the phone while I walk. It was a glorious sunny day and I was completely immersed in the conversation and missed (well, I didn’t miss it, I hit it) a big clod of grass a snow plow had thrown up on the street. I was concentrating on the call looking at the phone one second and down on the ground watching my phone skitter across the ground the next. It was one of those slow motion falls ....oooohhhhh nnnooooo...... completely my fault...but ultimately so much gratitude... I did not hit my head, did not lose the phone down the rain drain, and being winter in New England was dressed in lots of layers. I was lucky, suffering a few minor bruises along with a bruised ego and some very very sore ribs. The ego is fine, but the ribs will take much more time and remind me every day that “keep your eyes on the road”, is an apt phrase to remember not just when driving!
Yes, gracias a WhatsApp, I talk to my friends (who are like family) in Spain weekly! One of the most profound things that I won’t forget was that my friend M. told me was that she believes that the pandemic has taken years off of her life. It made me so sad. She is older and while I am affected by the pandemic, I have never felt that way.
E. is prepping for Air Guard activation at a COVID vaccination command center out of state. He’ll be gone for about 10 weeks if all goes well. If all goes how it’s been going so far, then who knows. I’m not worried about taking care of [our daughter] by myself. Truthfully we are lucky to have a small but very supportive bubble to help us. We’ve been explaining [...] that daddy has to go away to help people and he’ll be back. Hopefully we’ll be able to establish a FaceTime schedule that we can all look forward to.
His parents in New Jersey got notice that they’ve been registered for their vaccine groups, 1b and 1a. No word from my folks in Missouri yet but different state, different processes. If all the states go to age 65+ then hopefully all of our parents will be vaccinated in the near future. This will be a huge relief, although I am worried about what will happen if they don’t get the second doses in there recommended 3 or 4 weeks. Eric says that for most vaccines it doesn’t matter if you push out the booster, but these are totally new vaccines and I worry what if all these people - our folks included- end up not properly protected? What if a ton of people decide not to come back at all for their second dose and we’ve effectively wasted their first doses that could have gone to someone who would have completed the regimen? Although I guess that’s always a possibility anyway.
The pandemic has a way of making me feel the bitter truth of our world.
I grieve with a heavier heart.
I work longer hours.
I spend even more time obsessing over social media.
I am lost in my own anxiety, depression, and trauma at times.
Pain and violence have become the norm.
The pandemic has a way of making me feel the bitter truth of our world.
I have learned to be more independent.
I have become stronger through my pain, shaping me to be more empathetic.
I am allowed to give myself grace during difficult times.
I learned to stand up for myself, even if it is hard, even if I had to walk away from my dream job...
I can use my voice to make a difference on others and myself.
I feel full of rage, sadness, and empty.
My grandmother passed away from Covid. Words cannot begin to describe the amount of pain I feel from her sudden passing.
Over the past three days, she is the tenth person who I have seen die from Covid. I just found out a few more close friends are hospitalized for Covid-19. It makes me wish I could have it so they could live. I actually did have it back in March 2020 but I was lucky, I only had a mild case and was able to move forward.
I just feel angry at times. Angry at how people are taking this as a joke and it comes at the cost of human lives. It makes me wish that anyone who decides not to wear a mask in public can die from Covid-19 so that maybe the pain of their loss will slap some sense into those around them.
The Christian in me says to forgive them, to not wish hatred and violence but love them. But my mind can't stop replaying me screaming at people or wishing them death for their ignorance.
My friend told me, will this bring your grandmother back? No, but I just get so upset at the complexities of this pandemic. Why should I show compassion and care for White Nationalists who in the past have screamed the N word at me, have threatened myself as a queer woman of color, who have caused so much generational trauma. Part of me keeps thinking, why would I ever want to forgive someone who does nothing but spread hatred and pain? My religion may say one thing and yet my heart keeps aching from the reality I live in.
I know I can forgive people over time but this has reached a new level of unacceptability. I almost wish we could have another Civil War since to be honest they never got over losing and it has been the sleeping giant awakened with a vengeance slowly stalking us like hazy nightmare. But once again, this would not solve the root of the issue.
The real solution in my opinion is education, love, and empathy. We have to do better. What will be left of us after this otherwise?